BILLIE: STEPPING UP IN FAITH
Growing up, I never metformin hcl 500 mg price really experienced all the hardships of most children. I had a very loving Christian family, I went to a Christian school, and I went to church every Sunday knowing very well how Jesus died to set us free. Needless to say, I had what most people would call a perfect childhood.
Unfortunately by the time I entered Grade 6, that perfect childhood shattered. Everything started to change. At that time, my parents separated. As a result, my mom went abroad to live with her sisters and my dad’s temper tantrums would grow more frequent. Suddenly, my home life wasn’t so homey anymore.
School didn’t help. I had transferred to a totally different school and ended up hating everyone there. I had no friends and spent lunch breaks and dismissals alone. Living in my own little world of isolation, bitterness, insecurity, and pride, I was always depressed, even reaching the point of being suicidal. But in spite of all that I was, my God never abandoned me.
It was at a J-Zone retreat called “X” when I truly knew who God was. It was then when I realized just how great His love for me is and what it really meant to have a relationship with Him. It was then when He turned my life all the way around. At that event of my life, I committed to surrender everything that kept me away from Him.
It wasn’t easy. It was actually a very slow process that required a lot of patience. But little by little, God continued to speak to me through retreats, messages, and Quiet Times that followed. My God was actually changing me. He taught me how to love others and thanks to Him, I have a lot more friends and I have seen just how valuable I am in His eyes. He spoke to me through what is now my life’s verse: Psalm 139:14 which says, “For You created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” And the biggest change of all? From being a sad, suicidal girl, I became a person who always found a reason to laugh in every day that passes. None of this would have even been possible if not for God.
Last 2008 was when I went to my first leadership camp and became an intern. Two years passed and nothing seemed to be changing. I got discouraged as I watched leaders younger than me stepping up and leading their own groups while I wasn’t. But again, God was telling me to wait because it wasn’t where and when He really wanted me to serve Him. I realized that at a recent leadership retreat I attended. There, I learned that He wanted to get a shy girl like me to take a step of faith, out of my Comfort Zone and into sharing His Word even in my first year of college. That is why before school started, I prayed for three things to happen: that I would have time alone with the person, that we would be open enough to each other even though we didn’t really know each other well, and that there would be a conversation that would lead to me sharing the Gospel. And guess what? All of them were answered in just one lunch break alone with one of my blockmates. And praise God! She accepted.
Right there, upon just entering college, God was giving me a whole new challenge and that is to serve Him by sharing this truth and showing the evidence of this truth through the story of how he changed me. He is giving me a test of faith, but I’m sure that as long as I’m with the Lord, nothing is impossible.
My family is still praying for reconciliation and I still have my own struggles and personal issues, but God is not done with me yet. And now it’s different. This time, I am a changed person, a child of God, His beloved masterpiece. And now, only because of the grace of my eternal Father, Creator, and Savior, I am a Jesus Zone. To God be all the glory, honor, and praise.
Billie Gonzales, Miriam College
